Duplicity
by snapmagic
Summary: It started as an act to make James Potter jealous, until it escalated out of control, into something neither recognized. What will they discover about themselves? About each other? RL/SB.
1. No Perfect Affections

**_Duplicity_.** By dinoesque.

Summary: It started as an act to make James Potter jealous, until it escalated out of control. But as their plans and lives begin to unravel, Remus and Sirius are forced to grow up and realize that in both love and war, nothing and no one is what it seems.

**A/N**: RLSB. Eventual slash. Rated M for sex and language, although the first few chapters will be pretty tame, in more ways than one. No sex, no major angst.

(Yet.)

* * *

**_"In life, there are no perfect affections._" -James Merrill**

- -

**Chapter One. **

_I have to start somewhere_, Remus decided.

He dipped his quill into the pot of ink pinched precariously between a tree root and his leg. There were small black smudges on his knee of his trousers. Leaning forward from the large oak, he began to write. An essay on the Troll Wars was due the following Friday; three roles of parchment, and it was hinted that there would be a pop quiz, too. Scratching his neck, Remus scribbled a minuscule heading and a few looped words, before stopping to think, wand tapping against the ground absentmindedly. Then, with a flick of his wrist, he erased the ink clean from the page. Halfheartedly, he started again, this time getting nearly half of a sentence down onto parchment before making the words vanish.

Pursing his lips, he frowned downwards. This wasn't like him at all. However ambitious and grueling a particular assignment might be (not to mention the frustrations of this particular one, given so achingly close to the end of the year), Remus knew for a fact that his knowledge of the Troll Wars was not at all lacking. He shouldn't, he told himself, have the slightest of problems with hashing out the essay in a few afternoons, if he set his mind to it. But the thing was, it seemed, that his mind was curiously elsewhere.

_James Potter. _

Remus tilted his head back against the bark, with a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest. He felt the same twinge of embarrassment that he always felt when the subject arose, even- and especially- within the confines of his own mind.

He had known James for years and years, since their very first day of Hogwarts when he and Sirius asked- or rather, demanded- that Remus stand lookout while they planted a stink bomb in a compartment of the Hogwarts express heavily populated by Slytherines. Flustered, Remus had obliged, but his efforts as watchman were futile when a stray teacher came wandering by, figured out what was going on immediately, either from the putrid smell that now clung to James and Sirius, too; or from Remus' dreadful attempt at disassociation. They were all given detentions before they had even arrived at school, and an quite unconcerned [and even almost proud] Sirius had remarked that it was the beginning of a great friendship, and Remus promptly wondered if he was going to be ill.

But it had become, of course, just what Sirius had thought. And Remus did not run into any more problems, other than the occasional detention, until the beginning of fifth year, when they arrived back from summer vacation, and suddenly James was walking around the dormitory quite shirtless. Remus wondered if this was a new development, or something that had always happened before. And if it were new _why _it was happening now, at this very moment, when Remus was finding it quite difficult to keep his eyes off of James' toned chest. And if it were old, Remus wondered just why he hadn't noticed it before, and furthermore, why he was thinking so much about it now.

Remus found himself falling helplessly downhill from there, but if he ever showed any outward signs of his feelings, James did not seem to notice, and continued to treat Remus like a brother. Remus, in return, was friendly, but couldn't help feeling somewhat estranged, as if he could not fully experience James as a friend anymore. As if having romantic feelings suddenly appear out of nowhere meant that the non-romantic things had to change, too, which should have made perfect sense, but always ended up jumbled and ruined whenever Remus tried to sort it out, which was not often, for the headache it all gave him.

To say that Remus had a crush on him sounded immature and fleeting. To say that Remus was in love with him sounded maudlin and melodramatic. As a compromise, Remus decided it was best to not say anything about his affections at all. After all, there wasn't anyone he could potentially discuss them with. Sirius would laugh, obviously, and promptly tell James. Peter would turn red and remark that Remus was confused; that his feeling towards James were only that of admiration. James, too (God forbid he find out) would find a logical explanation; perhaps Remus was feeling sentimental because they would be leaving Hogwarts in less than a month. But Remus knew that he could apply none of these excuses to the electric shock that seemed to go through his very core, without fail, every time he saw James and Lily kissing and touching each other. The closest possibility was the anxiety over leaving school, but even that was a stretch.

Although none of them had discussed it, the final date of their schooling seemed to loom in the distance tauntingly, and Remus was filled with equal parts excitement and trepidation. While he had made some tentative, but disappointing plans for his departure, it felt sometimes as though graduations was really something happening to someone else. One day, he would wake up with the sun streaming in through the curtains and Sirius throwing a pillow at his face, and it would be the beginning of term once more, with no end visible in the distance.

Neither James nor Sirius was yet assured in what they would be doing beyond Hogwarts, nor were either particularly concerned with finding an answer anytime soon. The last time he, Remus, had brought it up, Sirius had shrugged and said something about traveling through Europe on his motorbike, and James had said something about accompanying him. And someone had made some crass joke and laughed, while Remus rolled his eyes and changed his subject, a misplaced jealousy burning in the pit of his stomach.

Not for a second did Remus honestly think that there could be anything remotely sexual or, worse, _romantic _between James and Sirius, not any more than Remus entertained the possibility of a relationship between himself and James. The prospect of either pairing was laughable. James had made it more than clear that his love was for Lily, whom he had been dating for nearly eight months now, and with considerable over-enthusiasm.

But there were times when Remus felt as though there was a secret between James and Sirius which he was not invited in on. A joke, or a look, or a slight touch between them which Remus would, of course, never know the meaning of. It did not make him angry- it made him feel more defeated than anything else- but just one time, Remus wished he could be in on the secret, whatever the secret was. Or if there was a secret at all.

Forcibly turning his attention back to his essay, Remus took a deep breath and began to write.

_The Troll Wars took place from the year 1842 until 1862, when a treaty was proposed by James_

"Joseph. Joseph Finewart. Not James." Remus corrected his mistake aloud.

_Joseph Finewart, a young troll hailing from Evanshire. _

Remus shook his head. _Evans_hire? As in- That wasn't right. He'd have to look it up later.

_His ideas were once thought to be overzealous, dangerously experimental, and queer_

"Argh-" Remus swore quietly under his breath and wiped the parchment clean once more with a flick of his wand. He blinked at the clean sheet in frustration for several moments before slamming the quill down with a groan. He pinched between his eyes, muttering something about trolls and headaches. A laugh, close by, and not unkind, fell on his ears. He looked up.

"Talking to yourself, Moony? A sure sign of insanity." Sirius was saying, trying helplessly to make his face look somber, despite the large grin plastered across it. He was advancing through the grass towards Remus, who glanced once more down at the empty page to make sure, again, that it was, in fact, empty. Sirius slouched down beside Remus, shielding his eyes from the noonday sun, and shifting to the roots beneath him. "A sure sign. That, and- ouch- doing the same thing over and over again but- ow- expecting a different result. But you're not there yet, clearly, so we don't have to- _ow. _To worry." He shot a sideways glance at Remus. "How do you tolerate it out here for bloody hours at a time? I've got wood up my arse already- and not the good kind, mind you- and one of those- whatsit, stinger things tried to attack my nose on my way here. It was just a five minute walk. But highly dangerous, you know. Or. Maybe you don't, as I see there are no red welts on _your _large and conspicuous nose."

"One, that was an awful pun about the wood-"

"Thank you. I can always count on you to find my humor vile."

"Two, the 'stinging whatsit' was probably just a bumblebee-"

"It had the eyes of a killer, Moons, you have to have been there to see it-"

"Three, there are no red welts on my nose, which, I might add, is not as enormous as you so often choose to articulate."

"Alas, but it is. If only you could see what I do."

"I'm rather glad I don't. Nor are there any welts on your nose, either."

"And thank god for that. I suspect the creature became so enamored with my beauty that it couldn't stand to ruin-"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Four. Nature is relaxing, Sirius."

"Only when it's less than three thousand degrees outside and the air is clear of monsters." Sirius leaned back against the tree, crossing his arms behind his head. "Although I do suppose it's nice to get away from things."

"You mean people who invade the privacy and space of others?"

"Mmm. That too." He smirked, closing his eyes as he continued to speak. "Have you gotten any work done on that Troll Wars essay?"

"Erm- yes. One roll of parchment down," Remus lied, tucking his unused materials into his bookbag.

Sirius pulled a face. "Typical. I haven't done a thing; the Troll Wars are terribly boring. Too many angry beasts wielding clubs. I was actually thinking about it the other day. Not because I was going to write it or anything, but sometimes these awful things just plague my mind. You know. And anyway, I remembered that we had to write an essay on it back in fourth year, yeah? But most of it I just copied from you. The night before. While you were sleeping, of course. You had absolutely no idea."

Remus took this information in for a moment, then shook his head. "No, if I remember correctly, at four in the morning you prodded me in the eye with your wand, asking if I knew what the topic was. I told you my essay was on top of my History of Magic textbook, and that you were free to ransack it, so long as you didn't make the plagiarism obvious. And then I rolled over and went back to sleep."

"A slightly different take of events, but they have the same basic meaning." Sirius waved his hand through the air, and Remus did not know if he was dismissing any further details or swatting away bugs. "Anyway. I was wondering if I could do something similar with this one, eh? Two rolls of parchment. Ha!" He snorted. "Trolls, my arse. Whole lot of good they're going to do in the real world. What a joke."

"It is-" Remus agreed, scratching his nose, which, really, he worried, could not possibly be as obnoxious as Sirius so often playfully eluded to, "-quite tedious."

"See? Even you think so, of all people. You, who can find fascination in the horrible muggle craft with all the numbers-"

"Math?"

Sirius shuddered. "That one. If someone _who likes math _can be bored with the Troll Wars, then they must be highly fucking boring." Eyes still closed, he paused and swiftly ran a hand through his hair, which flounced dramatically and fell back into place in a rather graceful way. Remus surveyed this with dislike, before attempting (and failing) a similar trick with his own hair.

"Normally," Sirius continued with a yawn, "I'd, you know, ask James to write half, and I'll write half, and together we'd make some sort of convoluted but undoubtedly brilliant essay, which, even I have to admit, is better than copying the whole thing from you and getting a wrist cramp."

"I admire that you're more concerned with wrist cramps than cheating."

"You flatter me. But it looks like it'll have to be wrist cramps this time, after all. Prongs is all sorts of ooey and distracted these days. I guess that's what happens when you get engaged."

Remus was about to reply with a dry comment about the abysmal state of James' focus on schoolwork even when not in head over heels in love, but stopped short, the color draining from his face. After a full minute of silence, during which time Sirius continued to swipe blindly at invisible bugs in the air, Remus let out a slightly hoarse noise that was quite unlike himself.

_"Engaged? _Did you say _engaged?"_

Sirius opened his eyes in surprise at Remus' surprise and twisted sideways to look at him. "Yes. James and Lily are engaged."

Remus felt himself turn pink.

Sirius frowned. "He told this morning, and you were there. He said he's been engaged to her for weeks now, and just hasn't said anything. Poor bloke was sweating bullets. Of course, I would be, too, if I had just sworn my life away to the likes of Evans." He stared at Remus, who was suddenly finding it quite difficult to breathe. "Are you all right? You look a bit funny. I don't know why you're acting so shocked, you were there, too, and-" Sirius stopped and looked to the side for a moment, mulling over something. He looked back. "Oh. I suppose you weren't there. Now that I think of it, you weren't there at all. It was just the two of us, Prongs and I. And James said to not tell anyone about it, including you and Pete. Hmm." he considered this for a moment, then muttered, "Shit."

"No! No, it's okay, I won't tell him I know. I'll- I'll act surprised and everything."

"To be honest with you, he's been acting so strangely that I don't think he'd know the difference between surprised and not surprised."

"Oh."

"Pre-wedding jitters, I suppose."

"Oh, God."

"What?"

"Wedding jitters. _Wedding. _He. James. Is going to be _married."_

_"_Yeah, I know." Hearing the defeat in Sirius' tone, Remus up looked up at him, who was suddenly looking a bit more ragged, a bit more nervous than he had just a few moments ago. "Terrible, isn't it? I should've talked him out of it, but I don't think I could have. He's really, really set on this. On her."

"Wow."

"It's crazy. I don't know what he sees in Evans."

They sat in silence for a minute, then Remus shrugged and said, "I suppose she's pretty."

"And- womanly."

"Yes. Or something. And she's got that, ah. I don't know what the right word is. Attitude, maybe?"

Sirius nodded glumly. "Yeah, she's got attitude, too." He wrinkled his nose. "Merlin, if James wanted pretty and attitude, he could have dated _me."_

Remus bit past the sudden tightness in his throat. "I think even you would agree that you fall short in the womanly department, Padfoot."

"Bollocks." Sirius picked up a stone from the ground and hurled it into the distance as hard as he could. "I could be as absolutely fucking womanly as he wanted me to be."

Remus frowned more deeply, not knowing how to respond. He knew that Sirius' joking was- well, only that. Jokes. Joking jokes. _But there's some truth in every joke, _a voice in the back of his head nagged, and instead of following this potentially catastrophic train of thought, Remus cleared his throat rather loudly, delivering a pronounced, "_Uhm_." Sirius ignored this.

"I mean. He doesn't have to be so happy about this whole thing," Sirius grumbled, ruffling his hair again in a manner not unlike what Remus had seen in muggle movies from the 1940s. "Not that I don't _want _him to be happy," he added quickly, shooting a furtive glance at Remus that was meant to be reassuring but seemed more manic than anything else. "I mean. I'm happy for him. _Really. _I'm happy, he's happy. You're happy. She's happy. We're all incredibly fucking happy."

"I see that," Remus noted with more sarcasm than he had intended. "It's exactly why you're-"

Sirius punched him in the arm that was less brotherly and more _shut the hell up, will you? _and Remus rubbed annoyedly at the spot, knowing that it would leave a bruise.

"Come on, Remus. Don't play the stupid condescension card. You're not any more old or mature or wise than the rest of us. Well. Okay. Maybe you are. Doesn't mean you have to be all. Snobby and such about it." He crossed his arms glumly, brow furrowed.

"Sirius. You know I'm only joking."

With a great deal of effort, Sirius sighed and tilted his head to one side. Remus noticed for the first time that his eyes were red around the edges. "I know, I know. And you know I'm only incredibly fucking stressed about this wedding, even though it's only been on for, what? Less than a day."

"You're not the only one," Remus muttered to himself without thinking.

"God, you're right," said Sirius, missing the point completely. "Prongs must be mad with stress."

"Erm. Yes. Prongs. Uh- Sirius. Why are your eyes all - ?" _Crap. _In an attempt to change the subject, Remus has sputtered out the one question he had been trying to avoid. "I mean you're not _that _upset- You haven't been- Crying, or- ?"

"Oh my _God_ no." Sirius sat up very straight, looking scandalized. "Nicked some rum from Filch's office to calm my nerves. He should really get rid of these things sooner, heh. Muggle alcohol is so much better than anything magical, it's really astonishing." he saw the look on Remus' face and shrugged. "You know what I always say. If it's before noon, it doesn't count."

"Now that you mention it, I smell it on you. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I've gotten used it. The scent. How terrible. Als, your timing may have been a bit off. It's already two in the afternoon."

"What?" He started. "Shit. I didn't realize. I'm going to have to get going in a little while. To get ready." Here he paused for dramatic effect.

"Get ready for what?"

Sirius grinned, almost wickedly, and nudged Remus in the ribs. "Padfoot's got a date. Not that that should surprise you. I'm going into Hogsmeade with Paul Slinch. You know him. Sixth year Hufflepuff. Blonde hair. Rather tall bloke, a bit skinny. Normally I wouldn't date younger than me, but it seems that by now I've exhausted the entire pool of available seventh years. And even some of the taken ones. Well. With the exception of you three. And that girl in Slytherin with those terrible glasses."

"I'm glad to hear we're in the same category. But- I thought you were dating Cynthia O'Flannery? Not that I approved of that; she was way too young for you."

"Oh, Moony. I don't need your approval. And besides, fourth year is not young. It was still legal, at the time. I think. But it doesn't matter now, because she was last week. Talked too much, didn't make for a good shag."

"I would lecture you on the inappropriateness of shagging a fourth year, but for some reason I think it would be lost on you." Remus frowned. "But how are you going to go on a date this afternoon? We have evening Potions at four."

"Okay, okay, you caught me." Sirius threw his hands upwards in mock defeat. "Paul and I are actually just going to snog in the Hufflepuff dorms, we're not really going on an official _date-"_ he said the word in a stage whisper "-or anything. Have you ever been in there, Moony? Their beds are so much more s_proing_ier than ours. It's really great if you want to-"

"Too much information. But, again. We have potions."

Sirius just blinked at him, and the predictable apathy made Remus smile, if only slightly.

"All right, then. You've made your point. Although I do think it's awful that you're luring some poor sixth year into a life of rebellion and debauchery."

"Who, Slinch? Unsuspecting? As if he hasn't gotten around enough already."

"Has he? In that case, you sure know how to pick them."

"On the contrary. They pick _me."_

Remus couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, well, one of these days you won't be able to help picking someone yourself and you'll see that some relationships go deeper than the sproinginess of mattresses."

"Deeper- ?"

"Please don't make some awful joke involving the words 'deeper' and 'mattress.' For the love of God."

Sirius looked very pleased with himself. "I'm quite glad we've trained you to catch the opportunity for a dirty joke one when arises. And when I say James, I mean we and I. Wait, no. I mean, when I say we, I mean James and James. I mean-" he stopped, with an odd look on his face.

If Remus didn't know him better, he would have said that Sirius was embarrassed, but nothing ever embarrassed Sirius, not ever. It couldn't be. But his eyes and face were suddenly quite wide, as if struck by something unexpected and unwanted. "He asked me to be his best man," Sirius muttered in an unnaturally soft voice, void of any arrogance or bravado. Remus suspected that he had been trying to find a way to fit this into conversation all along. Feeling his own stomach tighten, Remus answered:

"Oh. This morning."

Sirius nodded, running a hand over his face tiredly. "Yeah. And- and of course, I said yes, what on earth else could I say, but I mean. Being a best man implies all sorts of things. One of which being that you actually- er, approve of the coupling." He bit his lip. "Okay, maybe that's the only implication. But still. If I can't live up to that… It doesn't feel fair, somehow. To him, or to Lily. Or to me, but that's beside the point.

"James thinks I'm all up-and-eager about it. Excited. And I _am_ excited, but it's a different kind of excited, kind of like 'I'm going to throw up' excited." He turned to Remus quickly. "Don't tell him that I told you any of this. He'd- he'd practically die, I think. I'm trying to be supportive, I really am, and it's just- Just falling flat. And he's going to see that. Eventually. Soon." He mulled this over in silence for a moment, then shook his head. "Anyway. Sorry to put such a downer on your afternoon. Not that the Troll Wars were particularly riveting in the first place." He leaned over Remus to check the time on his watch, then jumped to his feet. "Almost two-thirty. Gotta run, gotta get ready."

"For snogging and ditching class? Why, Pads. I thought you were always up for that."

"True facts, true facts." He stretched and looked overhead. "Think it's going to rain. You should get inside."

Remus shrugged. "I'll be in soon enough. But I'd like to deal with as little- er, canoodling between the soon-to-be newlyweds as possible."

Sirius made a rather grotesque face. "As long as they can keep it down, it's mostly tolerable."

"Noise or no noise. It's still incredibly-" Remus searched for the right word. "Upsetting."

"Aw, hey. No need to look so mournful about it." Sirius rocked back and forth on his feet, feigning nonchalance, as if trying to brush off the last twenty minutes of conversation. Turning to leave, he threw over his shoulder at Remus:

"Besides. It could be worse. It's not like you're _in love _with him or anything."

"Oh, that! Of course not. Ha." Remus laughed nervously to himself. "Ha ha ha."

* * *

Okay. I know it's not like hardcore RLSB or anything yet. But feedback is very, very welcome.

Gimme your criticism, baby.


	2. Hatching

_Duplicity_. By dinoesque.

Summary: It started as an act to make James Potter jealous, until it escalated out of control. But as their plans and lives begin to unravel, Remus and Sirius are forced to grow up and realize that in both love and war, nothing and no one is what it seems.

A/N: RLSB. Eventual slash. Rated M for sex and language, although the first few chapters will be pretty tame, in more ways than one. No sex, no major angst.

(Yet.)

* * *

**Chapter Two. **

_[Sirius.]_

_If they are in here snogging, I swear to God I will hex both of them. _

Sirius hesitated, for the first time, before entering his own dormitory. Never, in all of seven years, had he ever needed to wait more than a fraction of a second before bursting inside to make his presence known. Now, he couldn't help but feel stupid, glancing over his shoulder first, then pressing his ear to the door. He listened closely for any potentially awkward noises coming from the other side, and, upon finding none, let himself in. It was certainly not what he expected.

"You've got to be kidding me."

_I'm not sure if this is better or worse. _

Peter was asleep on his bed, occasionally mumbling incoherencies. Remus was sitting on his own bed, reading a large, leather-bound book, marking various things in the already-filled margins. James was crumpling up notes and essays from earlier in the year. He would toss one into the air, and light it on fire while airbound, then have it fall as ashes into a wastebasket on the other side of the room. No one looked up when Sirius entered, but James offered a "Hey" eyes still focused on his task. Sirius worked his jaw, incredulous.

"It's nine pm a Friday night, and you lot are sitting around doing absolutely nothing."

"I'm reading," Remus offered, as if there were nothing wrong with this.

"I can see that, Moony."

"I'm waiting for Lily." James tore a piece of parchment in half. "She's getting ready right now." He crumpled each one individually, then sent the them both flying at the same time.

_Of bloody course. _"Won't you two see enough of each other once you're married?"

It was not James, but Remus, who answered. "Sirius, don't be insensitive." _Oh yeah. Like you aren't thinking the same thing._

James lit the floating parchment on fire and did not say anything. Sirius trudged over to his own bed, and sat down, grumbling. "Does it change anything if I say that I brought Firewhiskey?"

"No," said James and Remus at the exact same time, then James added, "You've always got Firewhiskey, mate. It's nothing new." He sat up, running a hand through his hair, the corners of his lips quirking upwards. "Not to say that it's not exciting. We'll have to do this some other time."

For a moment, Sirius felt himself beginning to grin, too. "Yeah, I guess. Do you remember when we were in third year and we-"

There was an oddly patterned knock at the door, and everyone looked up. "Lily's here." James declared, grinning. He leapt from the bed and sprinted towards the source of the noise. "I'll see you lot later!" he threw over his shoulder. "I wouldn't wait up." He closed the door loudly behind him. Peter stirred in his sleep.

Sirius stood staring at the closed door for several seconds, still paused in mid-sentence.

_It's nice to see what's important to him, isn't it? _

"Well. That was lovely," Sirius pouted, flopping down on his own bed and whipping out a bottle. "Remus, I really must compliment you on your quick-thinking there. When you came to my defense like that. _'Sirius, don't be insensitive.' _Is that really the best you can do?_"_

"Sirius." Remus at last looked up from his book, closing it in his lap and laying a hand on the leather-bound cover. "I wouldn't want to be redundant, but please. _Don't be insensitive_." He looked back down at his book and hand. "I've been doing some thinking, and-" he paused, "-they're happy. Therefore we should be happy, too."

Taking a sip, Sirius narrowed his eyes in a way that suggested that being happy for the sake of anyone else was a sin. "Moony. We've already had this conversation."

"Yes, we have. Regrettably at time when I was quite tired." Remus ran a hand over his face, thumb straying briefly over a healing scar next to his nose. He glanced over at the clock. "And I said some things I didn't mean. For that I am sorry."

Sirius' eyes went wide with shock. "_Sorry? _What on earth are you possibly sorry for? You- you didn't do anything!" He frowned. "I'm thinking that maybe you don't understand the purpose of this thing called 'an apology.' You use it _when you've done something wrong." _

"It's like I said. We should be happy that they're happy. And I wasn't happy."

"You're apologizing for not being happy?"

To Sirius' great surprise, Remus turns slightly red. "No. Yes. Maybe." He thinks about this, then shakes his head. "_No. _Christ, no. I'm apologizing for being much, much less than supportive." He fixed Sirius with a steely glare. "And you should be, too."

Sirius snorted. "Please tell me you're kidding." Remus did not respond. Indignant, Sirius raised one eyebrow. "I can't force myself to be happy. Do you want me to just ignore what I'm feeling?" Remus let out a grunt of derision andSirius gaped. "Really? _Really? _Is this worth being angry over?"

"I'm not angry," Remus snapped, quite angrily.

"Hmm." Sirius replied. "I'm sure."

"Look. Can we just- not?"

"Not what?"

"Not- Oh, never mind."

"No, I want to hear. Not what?"

"Not- not have everything be so confessional? It's like you're the Spanish Inquisition or something."

"Span- ?" Sirius nearly leapt to his feet. "I don't think I've asked you a question this entire evening!"

Remus crossed his arms over his chest, suddenly defensive. "It's not that. Not with your words. You do it with your eyes. Like you're trying to extract something out of me."

Sirius couldn't help himself. "Kinky."

"No! Jesus, not like that. It's like." Remus took a deep breath. "Erm. It's like you know that I know something that you don't know. And you're going to stare me down until you find out that thing that you don't know that I do know." He bit his lip. Sirius opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. _If I didn't know Remus any better, I'd almost think that he isn't entirely hypothetical. It's almost like he wants me to ask him about it, silly as that is._

_Almost. _

_[Remus.]_

"Oh come off it. Like there's anything about you that I don't already know." Sirius scoffed, and took another shot of Firewhiskey. Remus looked pointedly away, nodding without conviction.

"Yeah. Yeah, nothing."

Sirius cocked his head to one side. "Is there?"

Their eyes met and Remus wondered if he really wanted to do this. After all, there was a reason he hadn't made time to reveal such things before now. But Sirius, for once, was on _his_ side instead of James'. While it was highly dubious that Sirius would be sympathetic, Remus had a feeling that Sirius would be, at the very least, unsurprised. Remus thought back to their conversation out on the grounds earlier in the week, and could see, with a twinge of unease, that he had essentially given himself away. What was there to lose anymore? It would be better, more dignified for him to just be out with it. To just say it.

"Is there?"

"Uhm."

_Just say it. _

"No, there's not."

_Shit. _

Sirius was now leaning forward, a keen eye fixed on Remus' face, which was suddenly quite warm. "Yeeees, there is, Moony, isn't there?" Remus could tell he wasn't teasing anymore. Sirius knew something was happening, and wasn't going to stop until he found out what. Holding his breath, Sirius waited. And waited. And waited.

"Er, okay. Yes, there is."

"…"

"…"

"Well."

"Well, what?"

"Well, I'd like to hear it!"

"Uhm. You need to promise me ahead of time that this will not be publicly broadcast." Remus shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"I promise."

"To anyone. Ever."

"Swear."

"Including James."

"Including James?" Sirius shot him a funny look. "What could you possibly be hiding that James would care about?"

"Er." Remus stood and strode over to the window so that he did not have to look Sirius in the eye. "And now that you put it that way, you might have an _opinion_ on it, too."

"An opinion."

"Yes."

"Huh."

"Yeah."

Sirius blinked, trying to formulate some kind of vague comprehension of the situation at hand. "What, are you going to turn around and tell me that you're in love with me?"

"No," Remus was saying before he could stop himself, "I was going to say I was in love with James."

The minute he said it, he regretted it. A hot silence filled the room, and Remus could feel the back of his neck prickle. With a great effort, he turned from the window so that he could see Sirius who was staring, mystified, at Remus, drink still in hand, as if literally frozen. His lips twitched. Once, twice, then a faint noise came out.

"No, you're not."

_Deep breaths, in and out. _"Yes I am." Remus took a step towards him. "What do you mean, 'No I'm not?'"

"You're not. You can't be."

"I believe I just told you I was."

"Well, I'm sorry, Remus, you're not."

Remus noticed the Sirius' transition away from the nickname. _Is he- upset? But why? _Remus crossed his arms over his chest. _Merlin, if he wants to argue, we can argue. _Without thinking, he spluttered, "You're not the only one who gets to like blokes, you know."

"Come off it. That has nothing to do with it. We always knew you were a poof."

_We. _Remus felt his stomach clench. "All right. Then, what are you having a problem with?"

They locked eyes. Something like fear flashed across Sirius' face, who looked away momentarily, as if making a decision quickly, as if consulting something with himself. He looked back, leveling his gaze with Remus' and took a deep breath.

And laughed.

He rolled backwards onto the bed, shoulders and stomach shaking, almost hysterical. "You should see the look on your face! You- you look like someone's told you you've flunked out of school!"

Despite himself, Remus felt the slightest of smiles spreading across his features. _Okay, maybe we were being a bit silly._

"Really? I- I looked like that?"

"Yeah! You did! And- and- you know what the best part is?" Sirius was holding his side, laughing so hard he could barely breathe.

"What?" Remus asked, now chuckling.

"The best part-" here he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye "-the best part is, you can't have James because he's mine! I like him, too!"

Remus immediately stopped laughing. Sirius' peals fell off into silence at the other boy's reaction. A shocked silence fell on the pair. "What?" Remus asked blankly, now utterly horrified.

"I've liked James since forever." Sirius was still grinning, although Remus did not see the humor in the situation.

_Ha, ha? _"Me, too," said Remus, feeling weak in the knees. He walked over to the bed and sat down across from Sirius, still trying to figure out how he felt about all of this.

The grin turned mischievous. "Define forever," he asked slyly.

"Fifth year."

"Ha! Fourth. Beat you."

Remus pursed his lips. "It's not a competition, Pads. I mean-" he took a deep breath. "-It's not like either one of us are going to, you know, get with him. He's got Lily."

Sirius looked at him and scowled. "Way to be a killjoy. I wouldn't mind a little competition. Actually."

"Over _James? _With _me?"_

"Sure." Sirius shrugged, as if there was nothing wrong with this. "All in good fun."

Remus found his fingers twitching in frustration. "Good fun?"_ Is this some kind of joke to you? _An awful thought flashed through his mind. _You're making this up, aren't you, just to mess me around. Aren't you? _He turned towards Sirius.

_But you wouldn't do that. _

"Erm-"

_Would you? _

Remus swallowed hard, deciding that the best course of action was to dismiss the idea entirely. "It doesn't matter. Neither of us have a chance. He's straight."

"So he thinks."

"No, believe he is. Honestly, I don't think Prongs would even entertain the idea of a- a relationship that's. You know."

"Are we not saying the word _gay _now?"

Remus flushed slightly, hating it. "I just don't think he would even consider that sort of thing."

"Yeah," Sirius muttered, picking at a loose thread on the pillow. Then, quite suddenly, he looked up

at Remus. "So," he began, "why don't we make him?"

Remus frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Let's- let's make him think about having a gay relationship. Make him think about snogging blokes."

_Merlin, no. I recognize an awful idea when I see one. Especially from Sirius. _"How would we go about doing that?" asked Remus nervously, grimacing.

"You're going to date…"

_He's not going to suggest-_

"…_me_."

Remus froze.

"I'm going to- ?"

"Yes. Yes you are. If you and I date," said Sirius, speaking quite quickly now, "Jamie will have to see us all the time. I mean, two of his best friends!" He glanced over at the sleeping form on the other side of the dormitory. "I say two because I don't think we'll be able to get Peter in on this one, somehow. But, Merlin. It'll be highly annoying, won't it?" Sirius asked brightly, grinning. "Like him and Lily, except worse. He won't be able to stop thinking about it. He'll be…" He paused. "Jealous." he said the word as though surprised by it.

Remus sat in awe.

"And," Sirius added, "It'll even the playing field. You and I. Equal chance, yeah? Can't get much fairer than that. Although I suppose my ridiculous good looks are an unfair advantage, but we can overlook it."

"Sirius." Remus was staring at him like he had never quite seen anything like him before in his life. "Sirius, that's a bloody awful idea."

"Oh." He looked down. "Well, if you don't want-"

"And I love it."

Sirius looked up in surprise, looked over Remus' face skeptically, as if to determine that he wasn't being serious. His lips twitched into a sly smile. "Really?"

Remus ran his tongue over his teeth, a million different scenarios playing in his mind, all of which involved him and James locking lips on beds in large French mansions. "It's a perfect idea."

"You really-?" Sirius stopped, looking critical. "Wait a second. You do realize that this plan is, essentially, devoid of logic, don't you? There's nothing that says he's going to definitely like or date or kiss or choose one or the other."

"No," Remus agreed, looking slightly thoughtful, but more overcome by a now furious glint in his eye. "But there's always the opportunity. And if we don't do this, we're missing an opportunity. Just throwing it away. And that's-" he shook his head quickly "-that's practically a sin. Although it seems illogical, it actually is the logical thing to do."

Sirius just nodded, smugly. "Sure. Whatever you say. You just don't want to admit that you're doing this for what's in his pants. Justify it by giving your morality an honorable mention here."

Remus rolled his eyes. "And I'm sure your reasons for thinking this up are purely emotional as well? Nothing anatomical?"

His eyes glittered. "I never said they were or weren't." Sirius looked at Remus for a minute, and a funny expression came over his features. "Dear."

Wrinkling his nose, Remus got up, standing over Sirius and crossing his arms over his chest. "Okay, no. Maybe this isn't going to work. You're not calling me-" he shuddered. "We need to set rules."

Snorting, Sirius leaned back against the headboard. "All right. If that's your kink."

Remus ignored this. "Firstly. No terms of endearment. No absurd nicknames."

"Moonykins?"

"Yes. Exactly like that. Secondly-"

"We're allowed to see other people." Sirius cut in. "As long as it's a one time only thing. Don't want anyone to get suspicious."

"Sure." Remus allowed, realizing that the possibility of him participating in a one night stand was slim to none.

"Thirdly," Sirius continued, "We have sex every day."

Raising an eyebrow, Remus inquired "Surely you must be joking. I was just about to say, fourth, no public displays of affection."

"What?" Sirius practically yelped. "Where's the fun in that?"

"Exactly."

"I don't agree to that one."

"I don't agree with the one about having sex every day."

"Well, of course you don't, I didn't think you would."

"Then we'll scrap both of them." Remus said with a sigh. "Public displays of affection are okay, sex is not."

"You mean sex every day."

"No, I mean sex."

"Remus," Sirius began quite somberly. "You really can't expect someone like me to go that long- however long it is that we're going to be going- without any sort of sexual gratification."

"You yourself said we could see other people."

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "There are only so many other people in the world. And only so many of them worth having sex with. Obviously, I'd prefer something noncommittal, but that I could come back to anytime I want. That's you."

Remus didn't know if he should be flattered or terribly offended. "Are you telling me that you'd rather use and have sex with me than use and have sex with a random stranger?"

"Absolutely, Moony! See what a great pair we make already?"

Remus bit his lip. "Focus, Pads. Let me emphasize that this is _not permanent." _He looked over, for the first time, at Peter's form, and inwardly prayed that he was soundly asleep. Peter wouldn't be able to keep the hoax quiet and would tell James immediately; Remus and Sirius be done in a day. Remus nearly shuddered at the prospect of James discovering the truth behind what they were so intricately working out. He'd be horrified. Something like guilt pinched at Remus' stomach, but he forged on. "We should set an ending date. Because this can't go on forever. At some point, if neither of us have- erm, _succeeded _in attaining, erm, _him; _we have to give up."

Grabbing the bottle on the jerry beside him, Sirius took a large drink, then wiped his mouth on his forearm. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Shouldn't go chasing something that's impossible. Only something that's highly unlikely. But how do we figure out when James-"

The door suddenly clicked open and James walked in. Remus turned, and, a moment later, felt hands around his waist, pulling him backwards. He whipped his head back around towards Sirius and made a noise in the back of his throat that would have sounded like _Sirius, don't! _ if Sirius hadn't, at that very second, smashed his mouth against Remus'.

_Oh my god. _

It wasn't a kiss. Their lips were touching, moving even, and Remus could feel Sirius' tongue sliding against his own, but it could not would not, in any universe be-

"Uhm-"

_Holy shit, I'm kissing Sirius Black._

Remus felt the hands release him, and the smirk Sirius was wearing was suddenly quite terrifying. "Hello, James," he intoned, as if what he had just walked in on was a quite ordinary thing. James, who Remus could not see, did not return the greeting. With a great effort, Remus turned his head around to find his friend dumbstruck, jaw hanging slightly and eyebrows raised. Lily, to his horror, was behind him, standing at the door, and if Remus wasn't mistaken, there was the slightest hint of a smile on her lips as if she knew something he didn't.

"Were you just- you two-"

James was working out the words slowly, as if they took a great effort to conjure. "You were- You were just-"

Lily interrupted him. "What he means to ask is, have you lot finally come to your senses?"

"Finally?" Remus asked, trying to look less alarmed and more casual, especially as Sirius snaked an arm around his waist. He pulled Remus backwards so that he was lying on Sirius' chest. _Is this really necessary? _

"Well of course." Lily said matter-of-factly. "It was only a matter of time." Sirius' words from earlier came back to him. _'That has nothing to do with it. We always knew you were a poof.' _Remus couldn't help but wonder just how often his sexuality had been the topic of conversation when he wasn't around.

"Er, the thing is-" Remus begins, and suddenly all eyes are on him. He can feel Sirius' gaze boring into the back of his head, and Lily at the door is nodding expectantly. Even without looking at James, he knew that he's staring, too.

It was then or never. Go along with the plan, play along with the scheme that would never work (_Unless it does, which would be nothing short of a miracle) _or give himself up completely. Admit that he and Sirius were just fooling around. That there was nothing to it. He could pass it off as experimentation, as a dare, as _anything _but what it was.

But he knew that then Sirius would deny it, and he'd look like an idiot.

"The thing is…" he swallowed, trying not to look as lightheaded and ridiculous as he felt. "Yeah. It's….yeah. We are. Dating. We are dating."

_Oh, Gods, what am I getting myself into? _

_- -_

Reviews are love. Basically.


	3. Not Too Bad, After All

_Duplicity_. By dinoesque.

Summary: It started as an act to make James Potter jealous, until it escalated out of control. But as their plans and lives begin to unravel, Remus and Sirius are forced to grow up and realize that in both love and war, nothing and no one is what it seems.

A/N: RLSB. Eventual slash. Rated M for sex and language.

Sorry about how long it took for this chapter to be posted! And, I know that it's short, too. One, I was having some ridiculous computer issues, but everything should [knock on wood] be fixed now, and two, writer's block was crippling for a short while. But chapters should progress at a faster pace than once per two months. Ha. One can only hope.

* * *

[Remus.]

In the following week, Remus found himself unbearably jumpy. In class, he would spill ink accidentally all over himself. At lunch, his fingers would shake around his soup spoon. When greeted with a friendly _Hello! _in the corridors, he would freeze up, then make a rushed, startling exit. It was not, as Peter had kindly suggested, nerves over the ever-beckoning end of the year and it was also not, as James had thought, something that a stray Slytherin had slipped into his minestrone by accident. Sirius, who had more opinions on more subjects than the other three of them combined, had not remarked on the difference at all.

On this particular morning, Remus had spilled his tea at breakfast and was still trying to figure out if there was any lasting damage done to any of his materials as he walked to his first class. He was rounding the corner when he walked straight into an oncoming boy he did not recognize. The books and papers in his arms fell to the ground and scattered into the air and across the corridor.

"Oh- Sorry." he murmured, looking downwards as he stooped to pick them up. The other boy kneeled as well, reaching for an Astronomy textbook at his feet. "No problem," he replied, smiling politely, passing the textbook on to Remus, who thanked him.

"Wait a minute." The other boy bit at his lip, thoughtful. "Don't I know you from somewhere?" Remus had never seen him before in his life. The boy had dark eyes and freckles and wore a shirt in Hufflepuff colors.

"Er, I don't think so." Rising to full height, Remus checked his watch. "It was nice- uh, talking to you, but I've got to get to class." He made to leave, but the other boy stood up and stepped in front of him.

"Wait!" The other boy narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing the face and feature of Remus, who now felt quite exposed. "I'm almost certain I know you." He frowned more deeply. "What did you say your name was?"

"Remus Lupin. And I've really got to be-"

The other boy's eyes went wide. "_Lupin? _Fucking seriously? _You're _Remus Lupin?"

"Yes," said Remus, feeling exponentially more adamant about leaving by the second. He stepped to one side of the boy, but the boy blocked him again, his face now clearly angry.

"You're the wanker Black dumped me for?"

_Oh shit. _With a grimace, Remus said quietly, "You must be Paul."

Paul jerked his head upwards in affirmation. "Yeah. I am. Although I can't imagine why, of all people, he'd pick _you_." He looked over Remus' thin frame critically and scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

Remus felt his ears go red. "Oh." _How do I respond to that? _"Well, uhm, we go way back- That is, we've known each other a long time-" Remus instantly realized this was the wrong thing to say.

"Were you seeing him while he was seeing me? Was he cheating on me with you?" The other boy took a step closer, and Remus saw his hand twitch towards his wand.

_Avoid confrontation. Be pacifying. _Attempting a smile, Remus nervously replied "No, no, of course not. We've only been- uhm, you know, since Friday afternoon."

Paul cocked his head, skeptic. "Friday afternoon? What time Friday afternoon?"

_He's quite attached, it seems. _"Uh, it was in the evening, actually." Very slowly, Remus was edging his way around the Hufflepuff, eyes locked on the classroom he was headed for, just down the hallway.

"Yeah?" He sneered, defiant. "What time?"

"I- I don't know. Around nine, I think. A little after."

Paul's eyes narrowed. "Is that so?"

Remus glanced over his shoulder, then back at the classroom. "Yes, I'm sure of it." Now if you don't mind-" He sidestepped the boy and broke out into a brisk trot. _Going to be late, going to be late. _ He threw over his shoulder: "Sorry, I've got to go!"

"That's funny, because Sirius broke up with me around eight-forty-five. Down near the Transfiguration classroom."

Remus stopped. _That is strange. It would have given him just enough time to walk up to the Gryffindor house. He went straight from one thing to the next. It's almost as if-_

"It's almost as if he was planning this."

"Oh," said Remus quite lamely. _My thoughts exactly._

"Mr. Lupin, will you be attending class this afternoon or not?" the sharp reprimand jolted him, and he whirled around towards the source of it.

"Yes, Professor. Sorry about that." He rushed into the classroom, and slid into his seat without looking up. Staring very intently at a spot on his desk, he avoided eye contact with anyone else. He knew that Sirius was sitting behind him, and James and Peter were close by. Quite suddenly, Remus did not want to talk to any of them. Feeling foolish for reasons he, slunk down quite low into his seat, face in his hands. His mind was racing.

_Am I an experiment? A challenge? Is this Sirius' final attempt at getting laid before leaving Hogwarts? Or worse than that, a last resort? Pitiable? Easy? _

_How long has he thought of me this way? _His heart sank. _Does James think so, too? _

Remus mind went to all of Sirius' short-term relationships with such a large percentage of the Hogwarts population. He thought of all the girls he had brought back to the dormitory after midnight, much to the embarrassment of everyone else in it. Racking his memory, Remus couldn't remember Sirius ever talking about breaking up with any of them. Remus knew it had to have happened, but the physical action of saying_ "I'm sorry" _or _"I'm not sorry" _followed by _"It's over" _had never crossed his mind. He supposed it would be rather unpleasant, hurting someone like that, but Sirius had never mentioned it, not once, nor had he shown any signs of distress when moving on to someone new.

_I am the someone new._

He shook himself. _No. He's better than that. Sirius wouldn't do that to me. He wouldn't just use me like that. Would he? _

_Ah, but he is,_ said a small voice in the back of his head. _You know he is. He's using you to get to James. Just like you're using him. You're using each other. Wasn't that the whole point? _

_You're being silly, Remus Lupin. It's all fake, right?_

_Right? _

_We are talking after class. _Remus scribbled onto a corner of parchment, which he ripped off and slipped onto Sirius' desk behind him. A moment later, the same piece fluttered before his face, landing before him. There was writing on the back now, larger and messier than his own.

_You sound feisty. Rawr._

Remus scowled, then crushed the paper in his fist. He felt something hit the side of his face. _"Ow!" _he hissed under his breath. Turning to the left, he saw James with his wand pointed from his hip, grinning widely. _Having a lover's spat? _he mouthed, clearly enjoying himself. _Sirius is a moron, _Remus mouthed back. James nodded in sympathy. Gritting his teeth, Remus turned back to the front of the classroom.

- -

After class was dismissed, Remus found Sirius lounging outside of the doorway, arms crossed lazily over his chest.

"You wanted to have a little rendezvous, eh?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, ignoring the pinched, unimpressed face staring back at him.

Remus hoisted his bookbag onto one shoulder and looked Sirius squarely in the eye. "What exactly are your intentions with me?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow? "Intentions?" he barked, loud enough to make several people turn around and stare. He lowered his voice. "You make it sound like we're actually dating."

_Wrong tactic. _"I didn't mean it that way," Remus said hastily. "But I would like to know just _what _you plan on doing with me when we're done with our- you know. Farce."

"Oh, Moony. I was trying to keep the horrible truth from you, but- Alas! Here it is- I suppose I'll have to leave you out on the streets on your own to die, you poor thing. All helpless, by yourself." He smirked.

Remus was suddenly stuck by an intense dissatisfaction with his flippant answer. There was something he wanted Sirius to say, the _right _thing, but he hadn't the slightest clue what the _right _thing was. The _right _thing was not a joke; not what Sirius had just said. Not in the slightest. Remus raised an eyebrow, not responding.

Sirius looked affronted. "What? What kind of an answer are you looking for, Moony? When we're done with this, we'll be done with it, and things will go back to normal."

"Yes, but-" Remus stopped. He tried to consider this easy transition back into normalcy, but for some reason, this didn't quite fit. His mind didn't quite process correctly that for once, Sirius _was, _indeed, making a fair amount of sense.

_Don't worry about that Paul bloke. He's upset, of course, but why does it matter? _

Uneasily, Remus nodded. "All right. I suppose that's fair."

Sirius chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"You're so hung up over the specifics of all of this. As if it's a potions problem or something. Everything has to be just so."

"And what's wrong with knowing how things are going to turn out?"

Sirius' eyes twinkled and he leaned forward, face close to Remus'. "That takes all the fun out of it."

For a moment, Remus thought that Sirius was going to kiss him. For a moment, one crazy moment, he was going to let him. But Remus pulled backwards and out of the way and said, "Your ex-lover nearly attacked me on my way to class."

Sirius looked genuinely surprised. "He attacked- which one?"

"Paul."

"Oh, him. He's harmless. Don't worry. You could take him on."

"That's not the point! I don't want to take on anyone, Sirius! Not because of this silly relationship, anyway. I don't want people to think I'm some sort of- of- "

"Of what?"

"You know. That I cavort with certain people. Unsavory characters and the like."

"Ah. But you do."

"Yes, but. Not like _that."_

Sirius gave a wry smile. "Living the dangerous life, now, are we, Moony? Dating someone so rebellious and dashing?"

"Padfoot, please. I don't think this is working. James hasn't showed the slightest bit of interest in either of us since we began this; not anymore interest than he would normally. In fact, I think he's become increasingly attached to Lily. He's not jealous at all. He's not upset, even. He's pleased by it. How on earth is this ever going to lead him to believe that he needs one of us over her?"

"Moony, Moony, Moony." Sirius shook his head, as if greatly disappointed. "Don't worry about it so much. Relax! James will come around in due time."

"And if he doesn't?" Remus asked nervously, not wanting to hear the answer.

Sirius flashed his teeth. "Well, m'dear, at least we have each other, then."

_- -_

_It was late. Moonlight peered in through a crack in the curtains and struck James' bare torso just so. He stared down at Remus, whose lips were dry and whose eyes were helplessly fixed on the lean form before him. James was standing at the foot of the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a wicked grin. Unabashedly, he knelt on the end of the mattress, crawling over top of the sheets, closer and closer, fingers sliding along Remus' body as he went. His thumb brushed in the strangest, most unusually sensual way, over so many places. Knee. Stomach. Shoulder. _

_Lips. _

_Without a word, James peeled the sheets back from Remus' body, revealing that he, too, was stripped down to his underwear. Remus felt himself blush. For an instant he wanted to apologize, but before the words could form on his tongue, James had taken his face in his hands and was kissing him deeply, pressing the weight of his entire body down on Remus'. They were achingly close to one another. Remus felt hot breath on his face when James pulled back, eyes traveling down along Remus' body to somewhere else; another source of attention. _

_Remus couldn't stop to think, James was moving too quickly. One second, he was looking as though he might ask _May I? _but the next second, he had thought better of it. Before Remus knew it, James had slipped his hand inside Remus' underwear, closing his fingers around the already-hard cock there. They locked eyes; James' glittering with something unreadable. Something slightly…dangerous? _

_Without breaking the eye contact, James' hand began to slide up and down Remus' cock. Remus' eyes shuddered shut, he fell back, eyes rolling, unable to think._

_"Jesus, Moony…"_

_But it wasn't James' voice that breathed, it was Sirius. Remus' eyes fluttered open and he realized that it wasn't James' body either, it was unmistakably Sirius, grinning wider than ever up at him. Sirius, hair falling in front of his eyes, lips parted, face slightly flushed. He quirked an eyebrow and slid a hand down the inside of Remus' thigh. _

_"Enjoying yourself?"_

Remus bolted awake, sitting up straight in bed, breathing heavily. For June, it seemed to be much warmer than usual. Much more than _necessary. _There was sweat on his forehead and the small of his back. He dragged a hand over his face, blinking at the empty room several times before fully being able to realize that it was, indeed, empty. Sighing deeply with relief, he groped on the bedside table for his wand, realizing with embarrassment that his hands were trembling. _Well. It was quite a- a- _

What was the word for it?

Intense. Terrifying. Sexual. Wonderful.

_No, no, no. Not that last one,_ Remus thought hastily.

His fingers found the slender oak in the darkness at last. _At least, _he thought to himself, _it was just a dream. _"Lumos," he muttered aloud, quiet enough as to not wake the other inhabitants of the dormitory.

Remus looked down at the sleeping form beside him, as he realized, with a pang, that he was not, in fact, comfortably alone. There _was _someone in bed with him, and that someone just happened to be the same someone who had been in the bed in his dream.

_Oh dear lord. _

Remus considered the possibility of screaming, or crying; and then thought about turning over and going back to sleep. None of these options seemed appropriate and Remus found himself staring down at the very naked body-

_Naked. He is naked. In my bed. _

_What does one do when there is a naked man in their bed? _

Remus knew very well that if he had posed the question aloud in any other situation, Sirius' answer would be _Shag him, of course. _But this option, too, seemed quite inapt.

With great trepidation, Remus stretched out his forefinger and prodded Sirius in the forehead with it. "Oi. Padfoot," he whispered weakly. "Hey. Hello. Hello?" But Sirius only proceeded to roll over, closer to him, wrapping one arm tightly around Remus' abdomen. Sirius' fingers were warm and slid underneath the hem of Remus' shirt, who shivered at the touch.

"Uhm-_ Sirius_."

"Mrrmfff," said Sirius.

Remus took his pillow and whacked Sirius in the face with it. With a jerk, Sirius' eyes opened, then closed again blearily. "What _time _is it?"

"Sirius." Remus made a point of not looking anywhere below Sirius' neck. "What are you doing in my bed?"

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Sirius shrugged. "Sleeping. What did it look like?"

"Sleeping."

"Yes."

"Naked?"

"That's the only way to do it, my dear Moony." Sirius grinned, and it reminded Remus swiftly and painfully of the Sirius grinning in the dream. _Do not think about those things. _"I thought that if we were going to do this at all, we might as well do it right."

"Right?"

"You don't need to repeat everything that I say, you know."

Remus couldn't believe what he was hearing. _Things that are not happening to me: this. _It was all still some sort of horrible nightmare. He would wake up the next morning having never entered into any sort of ridiculous pact with Sirius in the first place. James and Lily would get married, and he would get over it, and Sirius would shag the entire population of Europe, and all would be well.

"Sirius," he declared in a voice that was much stronger than he felt. "I feel that we need to set a few more rules."

Sirius groaned. "Obviously this is the appropriate time for such interesting conversation."

"I thought we decided on no sex."

"This isn't sex. This is sleeping. Your bed is very comfortable, by the way."

"This is- of a sexual nature." Remus was horrified to find that his cheeks turned pink.

"I bed to differ." Sirius licked his lips. "But if you would like a demonstration as to what does fall under that category, I'd be more than happy to show you."

"Out of my bed, now."

"Oh, come on!"

"Out!"

"No!" Sirius clung tightly to Remus' torso, defiantly refusing to move.

Remus sighed. "All right then. You can stay and we can discuss this."

"All right, all right. As long as you've already kept me awake with all your talk of rules and sexual natures."

"I wouldn't have to talk about rules or sexual natures if you hadn't-" he took a deep breath, trying not to be so acutely aware of every inch of Sirius that was so impossibly warm against his own skin. "Look, I don't think this is working. I don't see how it could possibly be. But I know you do. So how about we reach a decision? We set an end date. After that point, if James-" here he lowered his voice, hoping he hadn't woken the others already, "-hasn't made a move on either of us, we'll give up."

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "That's just the kind of absurd limitation that you'd come up with."

"I happen to think it's a wonderful idea."

"You would," said Sirius darkly.

"How about- the 31st of July? If the plan hasn't worked by then, we're through. All right?"

Sirius consider this for a moment then muttered, "Fine, on one condition."

"What's that?"

He smiled. "I get to stay here tonight."

"Here-"

"Your bed is much more comfortable than my own. I already said that didn't I?"

"You- No, Sirius, I'm not agreeing to that. Go back to your own bed."

"If I go back to my own bed, we don't have an end date."

"Oh, Padfoot, come on-"

"That's my offer," he nuzzled his nose against Remus' stomach, who shivered slightly.

"I-" _It's just one night. _"I-I suppose so."

"Good," said Sirius, not seeming surprised at all. "I'll spend the night here, the break up is set for the end of July and all is well." He did not make any move to let go of Remus; indeed, he held him tighter, laying his head against Remus' body, as if using Remus as a pillow was the single most natural thing in the world.

Remus lay back on the pillows and yawned. It had been a long day, and he didn't feel like arguing or thinking about much. He felt his eyes go heavy with sleep, and shut them. Right as he was about to fall asleep, a stray thought drifted through his mind.

_I suppose this isn't that bad after all._

_- - _


End file.
